Relationship Type 2 with Type 7 — The Enneagram Institute
7, 1–7, 2–7, 3–7, 4–7, 5–7, 6–7, 7–7 9, 1–9, 2–9, 3–9, 4–9, 5–9, 6–9, 7–9, 8–9, 9–9 Then, simply click on the combination of Enneagram types you want to explore, Shared difficulty with the Epicure in dealing with painful feelings and . Spranger didn't catalog the Enneagram's One, Six, and Seven styles, thus . A fuller description of how each type deals with these vulnerabilities will follow. Two Sore Spots — Valuing relationships and taking pride in being. INFJs are known for being perfectionists in relationships. and this will be a major deal-breaker for them in any relationship. One of #2 – Intellectual Stimulation #7 – Shared Values You can also discover more about the INFJ personality type in my latest eBook, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic.
Sevens are capable of long-term commitments, but they tend not to be eager to get into them. As a result of these signals, the Two may start to hover and become more intrusive, pulling in the reins on the Seven, insisting that they have more quality time together.
Sevens can easily feel trapped by this maneuver, and they may begin to lose interest in the Two, feeling that the relationship has gone stale rather than realizing their own anxiety over the potential closing of options. Twos will increasingly want to get serious about the relationship just as the Seven begins to feel bored or that the relationship has gotten heavy and unfulfilling.
Twos can thus begin to see the Seven as untrustworthy, a playboy or playgirl who is selfishly leading them on with no intention of tying the knot. Sevens can begin to see Twos as possessive and manipulative, playing on their guilt or insecurities to make sure the Seven does not stray. Further, Sevens need to be the center of attention as a way of staying energized and excited. Other people and their needs are not really the focus of their concern as much as they are an audience of potential playmates-if others can keep up with them and their fast pace.
While making the Seven the center of attention generally suits Twos well for a while, Twos eventually begin to unconsciously feel used. Relationship Development There are three fundamental aspects to relationship development, all of great importance.
What to acknowledge 2. What to appreciate 3. Key tasks for development In working with these key aspects of relationship development, do keep applying the steps of the Universal Growth Process [link goes here] as these underlie each of these practices. Daily practice is the key. Take time each day to preview the aspects you are working on and at the end of the day, review how you are doing.
Relationships (Type Combinations) — The Enneagram Institute
What to Acknowledge About Self This is about what each individual needs to take responsibility for that contributes to difficulty and distress in the relationship. What to Appreciate About the Other This section elucidates the positive attributes and qualities each individual needs to acknowledge, appreciate, and support in the other. Key Tasks for Building and Sustaining Relationship Here I provide the key specific recommendations concerning what each individual in the relationship needs to start doing, stop doing, work on, or accept to improve the relationship, enhance satisfaction, and ultimately create a relationship that truly flourishes.
Criticism, counter-criticism, and grievances can build over these differences. Since they often suppress needs and desires, perfectionists may find it difficult to initiate activities designed to enhance pleasure. Because of the focus on error and mistakes, they can also fail to acknowledge successes and offer praise. This can all culminate in angry battles, rigid holding onto positions, cold disengagement, and ultimately, even alienation and separation.
Relationship Development for Perfectionists with Perfectionists: What to Acknowledge about Self: What to Appreciate in Other Perfectionists: High standards, devotion to practical virtues and fairness, courage of convictions, industry, support for improvement.
Key Tasks for Building and Sustaining Relationship: Practice accepting and appreciating standards with different content. Realize that correcting mistakes in others easily gets misconstrued as criticism. Allocate time for pleasure, desires, and relaxation. Assist each other to release from the dominance of the judging mind. Type 1, the Perfectionist, and Type 2, the Giver Synergies and Challenges Key Conflicts Perfectionists offer steadfastness, dependability, and industry, while Givers offer emotion, optimism, attention to the relationship, and pizzazz — a good combination.
The Perfectionist, however, can experience the Giver as being too tied to the relationship and even dependent and unnecessarily helpful. The Giver, in turn, can feel unappreciated, judged as being hedonistic and giving too much, and therefore not acknowledged by the emotionally restrained Perfectionist. A cycle of heightening conflict can manifest with criticism and counter-criticism about what is wrong, who needs help, and what constitutes care.
This can lead to estrangement, especially since neither type is good at expressing desires and needs even though Givers can be on the hedonistic side in the service of others. As a result, estrangement and deadening can lead to disruption of the relationship. Relationship Development for Perfectionists with Givers: What to Acknowledge about Self. Disowned judgmental tendencies, under-acknowledgement of positives, suppression of pleasure and desire, inflexibility. What to Appreciate in Givers.
Helpfulness, attention to the relationship, caring, exuberance, adaptability. Key Tasks for Building and Sustaining Relationship. Devote time to pleasure and relationship building. Relationship Development for Givers with Perfectionists: What to Appreciate in Perfectionists. Commitment to improvement, restraint and self-reliance, high inner standards, consistence, devotion to practical virtues.
Practice steadiness and consistency. Welcome suggestions for improvement. The Perfectionist, however, sometimes may become critical of the way the Performer discounts important details, cuts corners, speeds through things with their fast pace, and making changes to suit circumstances.
The Top Relationship Dealbreaker For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type
This pattern can become compounded since both types tend to avoid feelings, which eventually leads to alienation and separation. What to Appreciate in Performers. A can-do attitude, positivity, shared value in work and competence, goal focus, efficiency. To reduce the emphasis on minutiae and correctness. To moderate the intensity embedded in judgmentalness. To make time for the relationship, pleasure, and relaxation.
Misidentifying 2 and 7 — The Enneagram Institute
Take time to slow the pace and encourage the Perfectionist to do likewise. Allow in more receptive force. Pay more attention to details and underlying principle. Make time for the relationship, pleasure, and relaxation. A cycle of escalating conflict and blame can materialize, characterized by complaint and counter-complaint and even withdrawal.
Neither then feels supported or worthy and both feel estranged and alienated, which ultimately endangers the relationship. What to Appreciate in Romantics. Depth of feeling, uniqueness, creative flair, idealism, empathy for others and especially those who may be suffering.
Type Two—Levels of Development
Appreciate more of what is good and positive rather than what is wrong and negative. Disowned emotional fluctuations, difficulty accepting constraints and ordinary aspects of life, disproportionate idealism, a tendency to focus upon what is missing or lacking in the relationship, sensitivity to criticism.
Practicality, conscientiousness, commitment, holding to convictions, striving for improvement, attention to detail. Cultivate practicality, restraint, and steadiness even in the presence of strong feelings. Accept criticism as positive and not a reflection on self-worth. Stay present and in a state of gratitude for what is. Encourage Perfectionists to express desires and acceptance.
Type 1, the Perfectionist, and Type 5, the Observer Synergies and Challenges Key Conflicts While both types share the qualities of restraint, control of feelings, rationality, self-sufficiency, and respect of boundaries, these same qualities represent challenges in communicating feelings and desires and for connection.
The Observer tends to retract and withdraw as a protection against the perceived intrusion. This, in turn, can invite further judgment and resentment or anger from the Perfectionist about what is wrong with the relationship and further angry retraction on the part of the Observer.
Both can turn silent and withholding, endangering the relationship. What to Appreciate in Observers. Work at sustaining non-judgmental and moderate engagement.
Your sensitivity to intrusion and criticism, an avoidance of feelings and charged issues, a tendency to withdraw or take superior position by judging in an intellectual manner. Restraint, practicality, self-reliance, dependability, high standards, striving to improve things and relationships as a form of care, attention to detail. Move forward and embrace feelings and charged issues. Find ways to enliven the relationship, including the physical relationship.
Encourage Perfectionists to live and let live and in the process, to become more accepting of differences in others. Type 1, the Perfectionist, and Type 6, the Loyal Skeptic Synergies and Challenges Key Conflicts Perfectionists and Loyal Skeptics often work synergistically in the pursuit of making a better world and correcting injustice.
They are sensitive to each other and dedicated. A cycle of escalating conflict and blame can result when the Perfectionist becomes more critical and angry, feeling that nothing can make the Loyal Skeptic secure and certain. All of this can lead to pain and even disruption or an end to the relationship. What to Appreciate in Loyal Skeptics.
Loyalty, endurance, warmth, intellect, healthy questioning, sensitivity to real issues. Attune more to positives and encourage the Loyal Skeptic to do the same.
Provide reassurance, not correction. Allow for more playfulness and lighten up. Work at appreciating the differences between you. A disowned magnification of negatives and worst case scenarios, sensitivity to criticism, contrary thinking, a doubting mind, a tendency to mistrust, difficulty staying with pleasures.
Restraint, conscientiousness, high ethical standards, their striving for improvement, dependability, desire for the best, attention to detail. Pay attention to all the questioning and doubts in order to become more trusting. Attend to and savor positives and pleasures and encourage the Perfectionist to do the same.
Accept criticism without magnifying it. While these contrasting qualities can complement each other, they can also lead to a cycle of escalating conflict. This can devolve into explosive outbursts by the Epicure and righteous fixed-position anger on the part of the Perfectionist.
Ultimately, this polarity can become intolerable to both types and end the relationship. What to Appreciate in Epicures. Spontaneity, enthusiasm, optimism, flexibility, future orientation, a fun-loving quality. Practice lightening up and letting go of judgments. Grasp the polarity in styles. Make pleasure a priority.
Resistance to limits, avoidance of details and ordinary life tasks, tendency to rationalize and reframe, an inclination to be self-serving. Self-control, conscientiousness, high ethical standards, their striving for improvement, practicality, industry, attention to detail and ordinary life tasks. Become more grounded in the present.
Hear and even welcome negative feedback. Maintain a healthy pleasure orientation and encourage the Perfectionist to embrace more pleasure. Type 1, the Perfectionist, and Type 8, the Protector Synergies and Challenges Key Conflicts Perfectionists and Protectors often join together in pursuing causes related to fairness, justice and shared interests. However, conflict arises over their considerable opposite tendencies.
When this interaction becomes polarized, it can lead to entrenchment, angry outbursts, withdrawal, and eventual destruction of the relationship. What To Appreciate In Protectors.
Strength, leadership, decisiveness, directness, exuberance for life, pursuit of truth, generosity. Become more spontaneous and appreciate this in the Protector. Develop genuine flexibility, not just flexibility based on an internal standard. Stand firm regarding core values. Express your own desires and needs. Develop comfort in expressing anger. Recognize and work with the polarity in the two types. A tendency toward excess, going from impulse to action, an all-or-nothing style of attending my way or the highway stanceinsensitivity regarding impact on others.
What To Appreciate In Perfectionists. Restraint, conscientiousness, high ethical standards, striving for improvement, industry, fairness, attention to detail. Practice moderating impulsivity and impact. Type 1, the Perfectionist, and Type 9, the Mediator Synergies and Challenges Key Conflicts Perfectionists and Mediators often join together in attending to detail and leading an orderly, steady life. Mediators, however, can feel criticized and prodded instead of encouraged by Perfectionists.
As a result, Mediators may end up feeling inferior. In attempting to please, they over-accommodate and build up stubborn resistance that annoys and frustrates Perfectionists. A cycle of escalating conflict can follow, leading to further prodding of the Mediator, which creates a power struggle: This pattern is compounded since both types have difficulty knowing their real needs and desires.
Over time the relationship can deteriorate to extinction. What to Appreciate in Mediators. INTJs seek the truth at all costs — and their relationships are no exception to this rule. INTJs loathe being duped, lied to or kept in the dark. ENTJs show their love through acts of diligence and loyalty — and they expect the same back from their partners.
To an ENTJ, love is a verb, not a feeling. The moment they suspect that a partner may be willing to betray or act against them, they will not hesitate to shut them out. A partner who cannot think critically.
Though they may not expect their partners to be as intellectually thorough as they are, they need to be paired with someone who wants to learn, advance and grow alongside them.
ENTPs are curious, explorative and eager to push boundaries. They approach relationships the way they approach everything else — with curiosity and an unquenchable enthusiasm to learn more.
This type enjoys complicated, multi-dimensional partners who challenge them intellectually. Someone who is consistent to the point of rigidity gives the ENTP nothing to explore and learn from — which means the ENTP will likely tire of them quickly. ESFJs take their love lives seriously.