Jul 16, Bridging the gap between the eldest and youngest child, the middle child within the family—your last-born date is super sociable, extroverted. Firstborns. Older Brother of Brothers. Firstborn males are treated like a king. Since you grew up in a family that lacked female siblings, you tend to have a hard You always accomplish your goals and you bring in more success in your life. May 28, Are you a take-charge firstborn—or the attention-hungry baby of the family? Where you fall in your family's birth-order hierarchy helps shape.
You are adored and loved dearly by your parents, and are smothered with attention. Once the family grows and another boy comes along, you're already bigger, stronger and are able to walk and talk. Because of this, you tend to get your way by being dominating and bossy towards your younger brother. Without knowing it, you are perceived as a leader. You're so used to dominating those under you as a child, that you adopt this trait throughout your adult life.
On the positive side, you acquired kindness, consideration, and helpful qualities. As a result most firstborn brothers of brothers have a special magnetic aura that both women and men become greatly attracted to and makes them want to follow your lead. You also have a natural ability to lead and excel in business because they enjoy status and recognition. Best match Since you grew up in a family that lacked female siblings, you tend to have a hard time understanding women and being romantic.
The best match for you is your opposite, a younger sister of brothers. There is a magnetic touch that attracts you to her femininity.
The younger sister of brothers also feels this attraction, because she yearns for a boy who is a natural leader like her older brother.
Worst Match An older sister of brothers isn't a good match for you because you'll both fight to become a leader in the relationship. An older sister of sisters is also a poor match, since both of you grew up in a single sex family and lacked the understanding of the opposite sex.
Older Brother of Sisters As a brother with many siblings sisters, you have the greatest understanding of women. You are a terrific listener, a good friend and patient suitor. Women are drawn to you because you understand their feelings and problems more than they do.
In your childhood, you learned that your younger sister was special and needed respect, kindness and lots of consideration. Knowing this, you tend to carry a special charm towards women by making them feel extra special, loved and understood. Best match A younger sister of brothers is your best match, as she responds well to the attention and charm that you give. She is very attracted to you because you understand her inner nature.
This is because you have character traits of kindness, attentiveness and leadership.
Worst Match A firstborn is your worst match because you naturally prefer to lead. This brings in conflict as other firstborns tend to be just as dominating as you. Older Sister of Sisters You're greatest strength is your drive, dominance, strength and courage.
You always accomplish your goals and you bring in more success in your life than others do. You have high standards and you're a perfectionist. More than other girls, you have a natural tendency and preference to be in control.
You also relate and identify better to older men, or men in high positions. This comes from your childhood, as you always accepted your fathers wishes unquestioningly.
You transfer your strong bonding with your father into romantic relations with older men or male authority figures. Best Match Younger brother of sisters is your greatest match, because his personality compliments you best.
You are exact opposites, and sparks can definitely fly. You're nervous, dominant and pushy, he's calm, relaxed, easy going and agreeable. Most girls with younger brothers like to tease, play and baby man.
This is what your partner needs. A Younger brother of brothers is also a good match for you. This is because neither of you have an advantage over the other. A relationship between firstborns and lastborns tend to bring out your best qualities and have a high chance of success.
How Your Birth Order Affects Your Romantic Relationships
Worst Match Older brother of brothers is your worst match. Both of you like to be leaders in all situations and enjoy being in charge. This can bring conflict and a difficult time in understanding each other in a long term relationship. There are some exceptions to this, as two firstborns could feel a strong connection due to a narcissistic type of attraction. It's like falling in love with yourself, which can give you a sense of security. Older Sister of Brothers Like Cleopatra, who was a firstborn, you have great feminine, dominance and strong maternal instincts.
You tend to be more religious, traditional and conservative than other girls. You like people who share your views and religious values. In a relationship, you take on the protective role and you like to baby men, and make sure they don't get hurt.
Men are greatly attracted to your helpfulness and caring nature. Best Match Younger brother of sisters is your magical match. You appreciate his humour and laid back easy going qualities. He's used to a girl like you from his childhood. He's fun, creative and easy going just like a younger brother of sisters. Both of you will have a great understanding of each other. You can also have a good match with an older brother of sisters. This is a narcissistic type of relationship. You'll love him, as you love yourself.
If you share power and control, you can have high chances of succeeding and making it work in the long run. Worst Match Older brother of brothers is a difficult match for you. He has a challenge understanding you, since he grew up without any sisters. He also wants to be in control of everything, so conflict can arise. Lastborns Younger Brother of Brothers You have all the creativity, social skills, sense of humour and the most active sense of curiosity in the family.
You developed these traits in response to having an older brother in your childhood. Adler believed that sibling hierarchy has a profound effect on our personalities, and can influence everything from the career choices we make to the people we fall in love with.
Studies suggest that the differences between oldest, middle and youngest siblings have more to do with nurture than nature. Oldest children often have higher IQs, but this isn't necessarily because they are genetically more intelligent. It's more likely that they will have had both more input from their parents, and taken on the role of teacher for their younger siblings, thus strengthening their own knowledge.
Although Adler's theories have been challenged over the years, there are certain characteristics and life choices that seem remarkably consistent in oldest, middle, youngest and only children. Oldest children Typically responsible, confident and conscientious, they are more likely to mirror their parents' beliefs and attitudes, and often choose to spend more time with adults.
Encourage each other to make these kind of contacts, but only with the same sex. I know it's the '90s, but my files and the files of thousands of other counselors are full of examples of affairs that started because one spouse had a "special friend" of the opposite sex.
Do special things for each other. I've already mentioned this, but it bears repeating: Middle children usually don't grow up feeling very special because they are squeezed and ignored. You don't have to spend a lot of time or money. Love notes are always good. A single rose, a small bottle of cologne, a special dinner--it's definitely the thought, not the amount of money, that counts.
Above all, show each other mutual respect. You show respect when you telephone if you're running late; check with your spouse before making commitments; refrain from talking about your marriage in front of others; back each other up in front of the children, particularly on discipline matters; and never bad-mouth each other in the presence of others.
Middle Child Plus Baby--a Pretty Good Match According to birth order studies, middle children and last borns rank right up there as potentially successful pairings for marriage. The middle child, typically strong in negotiating and compromising, pairs up well with a socially outgoing baby of the family. And somewhat paradoxically, this kind of marriage has a high probability for good communication--sharing feelings and rolling with the punches. Yes, I know I said earlier that middle children tend to clam up and not share emotions, but the plus factor here is that middle children are not as threatened by babies of the family as they might be by meticulous exacting first borns.
So, the odds--and remember, all of these birth order pairing observations go by the odds--are good for decent communication. Here are some tips for making a fairly good blend even better: Middle-child spouses should work things out, but guard against being condescending.
- Birth order: How your position in the family can influence your personality
Last-born mates will smell that in a moment because people have been writing them off in a condescending way all their lives. Blend your social interests with your last-born spouse's desire to have fun. If you're a typical middle child, friends are important and you enjoy having people over and other social outreach. If your last-born mate is typical, he or she will always be ready for adventure and trying something new.
The born identity
When daily connections and pressures make it impossible to get away, the middle-child spouse should grant in fantasy that which is impossible in reality by saying something like: Last-born spouses should realize they have a selfish streak and a desire to hold the spotlight. Work at backing off from your demands for service or attention. Do everything you can to make your middle-child mate feel pampered and special.
Don't have fun at your spouse's expense. This is good advice for any birth order, but it applies particularly to last borns who want to have fun, play practical jokes, and get in sarcastic little digs--all just to get a laugh.
How Your Birth Order Affects Your Romantic Relationships | Thought Catalog
Keep in mind, however, that many middle children battle feelings of inferiority and it's easy to press the wrong button or push too hard. The general rule is always try to laugh with your mate, not at him or her. They have a big problem with answering the metaphorical question, "Who is running the asylum? Two last borns must put their heads together and decide who will pay the bills, who will do the shopping, who will cook and clean up, who will take charge of the social calendar, who cleans house, and who is point guard on disciplining the kids.
Notice I said "point guard" for discipline, which suggests that Mom and Dad are a team, but that one of them may have to take the lead while the other one is backup. If last borns don't get a grip and make firm decisions on these practical matters, they can arrive in big-time trouble fast. Babies of the family have a tendency to forget or assume their spouse was going to do what needed doing.
I thought you were going to! But if your spouse is last born, guess who's catching the buck and throwing it right back in your face? Beware of selective listening. Remember that you're both manipulators. You may wind up playing games with one another and selectively hearing only what you want to hear.
Then when you're finally called to account you'll come back with the old standby: I never really agreed to do that. Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea! The best cure for selective listening is active listening, which means you listen with more than your ears. Look directly at your partner and sense his or her feelings as well as trying to understand the facts being communicated. A counseling device I often use with couples is to sit them in chairs facing each other with their knees practically touching.
Then they hold hands and talk about their problems. They have one rule: While one person speaks, the other cannot interrupt; and before replying, the one who has been listening has to "feed back" to the speaker's satisfaction everything that the speaker said.
Birth Order can Predict Romantic Compatibility | LexiYoga
Yes, this is a ponderous way to have a discussion. But it does wonders for helping spouses learn how to hear each other and understand what each other is saying.
Hold each other accountable. I suggest trying a simple plan: Sit down once or twice a week and ask some pointed questions. And that brings us to the next tip: Stay loose and laid-back. Those are your natural qualities anyway, so use them when things get a bit tense. Remember, as the baby of the family, you "earned a living" by looking up and learning how to get around all the older kids and other insurmountable problems. You can get around marriage problems too, if you work together with your spouse.
And that suggests one more tip: Keep your sense of humor and never give up. But remember what I said to the last-born spouse of the middle child. It applies here as well. Don't make fun of each other. Laugh together, not at each other. An Arrow, Not an Answer Now that I've touched on the so-called "best" and the statistically "not so hot" birth-order combinations for marriage, have I left you encouraged or discouraged? Maybe you're a bit puzzled because you're supposed to have a dandy marriage but things aren't going that well.
Maybe you're indignant because you aren't considered a good match and you get along just fine, thank you! So what does Leman know about anything?
All of these discussions of which birth-order combinations make strong or weak marriages follow the same principle that I have been repeating and will continue to repeat throughout this book: When talking about birth order, all general statements are indicators, not rules. In other words, all these general guidelines are arrows, pointing in a certain direction, but that hardly means that the fate of your marriage has been decided by your birth orders.
And they aren't an excuse for saying, "Well, it's hopeless. We're both first borns and that means we're doomed to divorce. My own first-born sister, Sally, is an example.