Relationship problems during pregnancy? 20 Possible reasons. 15 Tips
My parents live nearby, but I don't want to be dependent on them at my age. I just don't feel it's fair to bring a child into an unhappy relationship. We've never had a good relationship, not even while dating. The pregnancy was not planned - didn't think it was going to happen since we. I'm 29 weeks pregnant and constantly fighting with my fiance. I try not to Verbal abuse comes from people that are unhappy with themselves.
He's worried about finances: He's already self-conscious and is worried about being shown up in public as a failing dad. He had a difficult childhood himself and doesn't want to risk putting his own children through a similar situation. He suffers from mental health problems and fears that he may pass that on to the child.
He is fearful about passing on a genetic condition common in his family. He suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and can't cope with the additional stress of having a child disrupt his routines and rituals. He fears having to compete with the child for your attention.
He may be worried that he knows zilch about pregnancy, if this is his first baby. He may think he should know, and worries about being 'found out'. He may be completely at a loss about his role as a dad if this is his first child, particularly if he has grown up without a father, The pregnancy is ill-timed in his mind for whatever reason: He may be miffed about a lack of sex and intimacy. He may translate your preoccupation with the baby as you not loving him as much as you did before.
Or he may remember from a previous pregnancy how you seemed in his mind to be in a world of your own with little attention for him. You may be over the moon, but he may feel a failure. Perhaps he had plans to end the relationship.
Or maybe he is having an affair. He feels ill-prepared for taking on increased responsibility for your other children. He may have experienced your previous pregnancies and births as difficult, based on what you went through - whether that was a traumatic birth, post-natal depression or any other kind of problem.
He's having an affair. A combination of any of the above. Now that I've given you a start, you may have some thoughts of your own about what the problem is and why he's being so off with you. Once you can understand the root of the problem, you can both take steps to address it.
Stressed by your husband? I can so understand that you feel alone and frightened about the future and depressed about your relationship. It's natural that you're now worried that you're going to be all by yourself; that giving birth is going to be tinged with sadness. However, the more stressed and depressed you are, the worse your sleep pattern is going to be and the less resilient you'll be. Add to that your fluctuating hormone levels and you have a recipe for non-stop arguing.
Yes, you may think he's being unreasonable, but you need to take care not to be - however difficult or tempting that may be under the circumstances. I do really want you to read my pages on the signs of an abusive relationship though, because it's really important to me to know that you and your baby are safe.
Ask Ammanda: I want to leave my relationship but I can't because I'm pregnant | Relate
I'm sure you're already aware how important it is that you look after yourself - not just with an eye on your physical well-being.
It's just as important to care for your mental and emotional well-being too. Read on for my tips on how to deal with this problem What to do about it all? It's always scary to realise your marriage is 'failing'. Of course the thought that your partner is rejecting it is horrible.
So, what can you do? There may be an underlying, undisclosed problem - particularly if there appears to be absolutely no logical sense to his argument. Also, he may not see it as 'cool' to discuss his fears, particularly now that you're more in need. However, you can only begin to address the problem when you know what it is.
If you get the opportunity, discuss your thoughts on parenthood together Importantly, do this without any judgement, pointing the finger or criticising your partner in any way. This is has to be a 'safe' conversation, you're giving your partner space to adapt themselves to the new reality.
Love and Pregnancy: 5 Ways Pregnancy Will Change Your Relationship
I know, you it's not what you have wanted! But, this is your new reality at the moment. Talk to a trusted person Look for a wise, non-judgemental friend in your own environment to off-load and to get a different perspective. Once you start opening up to people about your despair, you may find some people's response disappointing. However, my clients so often commented that there were people they'd never expected it from who were hugely supportive.
Learn to meditate You can only really problem-solve if you're calm. It will be of huge benefit to your baby too, and help you to stay calm and focussed during the delivery. Continue to communicate respectfully Do it for yourself, at the very least - however difficult at this time.
At least you go to bed at night with your dignity in tact. I know, you should have been able to rely on your partner unconditionally, that is how it's supposed to be. However, now that you're in this situation, you've got to do 'whatever' to make it easier on yourself. That makes you very vulnerable, and don't forget - you can't change him anyway. Some will be good with practical support, some with emotional support, while others will take your mind of your problems by making you laugh.
You can do with all the help you can get right now. Consider getting professional help.
Ask around if there are free local professional counselling services or connect with an online counsellor. The latter is a paid service, but it is the best I can provide. You deserve support and loving care right now, but if he sadly isn't there for you, take charge! In the mean time, it's a good idea to warn your partner.
Let him know you're feeling especially needy right now, and that it would really help for him to give you extra hugs and attention.
An unplanned pregnancy in an unhappy relationship
You might not be on the same page The minute you see that extra line on the plastic stick, you feel like a mom. And your body gives you little signs to confirm your newly appointed status. Your partner doesn't have any of those physical symptoms -- and until science catches up with science fiction, he never will. Which means he may not feel like he's a father until he holds that bundle of joy for the first time.
Try not to feel upset if he doesn't seem concerned about picking out nursery paint or looking at booties. He might feel left out Again, everything is happening to you.
Aside from a couple of congratulatory back slaps or a handful or cigars tossed his way, most of the excitement about the pregnancy revolves around you. And since he can't exactly help you grow that thing, he might not feel so connected to it -- or to you, at times. Encouraging him to bond with the bump will help him feel more integral to the pregnancy.
You're pregnant and your relationship is falling apart?
Be sure to set aside non-baby time, too. Making his favorite meal or surprising him with a movie date after work will help your partner feel like he's still your number one guy.
The intimacy will intensify Getting used to your bodily functions during pregnancy is going to be interesting, and sharing them with your partner could be a new thing for you two.