The Surprising Psychology of Givers and Takers | Lemonade Blog
In relationships, there is rarely a perfect balance between giving and receiving. Power dynamics between givers and takers is more common. Ever heard of the concept of givers and takers when it comes to relationships? One of these pairings leads to relationship success.. the other?. Some people live life being just on the take – looking at what they can get out of every situation. True joy in life comes from giving; unconditional love.
The former couple becomes an upward spiral of awesomeness as they both are constantly on the look out for ways to help the other one grow into their potential emotionally, spiritually, in their careers, etc.
Givers and Takers in Relationships
The latter couple the takers become a downward spiral of fear, anger, frustration, manipulation, stubbornness, and misery. Are You A Giver? Are you kind with your partners? Are you highly considerate? Are you frequently looking for ways to better your significant others life? Are You A Taker? Are you highly concerned with fairness in your relationship?
Do you frequently have the underlying motive of getting as much from your partner as possible? Then you might be a taker. The odds are stacked against you. Yeah, you read right. The worst and best performers at work are others-focused, and takers and matchers tend to land in the middle.
Since takers develop reputations for putting others last, matchers tend to return the favor and try to knock them down, research shows.
Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Love Lasts
On the other hand, matchers root for givers to succeed, since they tend to match good deed with good deed. Everyone loves, trusts, and supports givers since they add value to others and enrich the success of the people around them. In short, givers succeed because their giving leads to quality relationships, which benefit them in the long run.
But wait, back up. If being a giver creates stronger relationships and even makes you happierwhy are some givers at the bottom of the success ladder, while others are at the top? Selfless givers, as you may guess, are the ones who drop everything to help people all the time, which means they tend to fall behind on their own work.
On the other hand, otherish givers are smart and strategic about their giving. At this point, you must be asking: After all, being a successful giver comes with many perks: Here are a few tricks and tools successful givers have up their sleeves to help others while avoiding burnout.
How to be a successful giver 1. Doing these quick favors for a coworker or friend can go a long way in strengthening your relationships. Asking a friend or coworker for help gives them the opportunity to be a giver, but also makes them feel good and smart. What this really means is that he puts in the effort to understand you.
- Giver / Taker Test
- Givers and Takers: How To Make Sure Your Relationship Lasts
He wants to take what he needs without having to compromise. A Giver will jump up to the plate and do these things. His generous spirit can be seen from a mile away!
Are You A Giver Or A Taker? | The Naked Divorce
Then they can spread the love too, and support, each other. A Matcher is the third personality type described by Adam Grant. A Matcher wants everything to be equal and balanced. As explained on Huffington Post, they like to keep score of things.
But the Giver goes above and beyond to make you feel special.
You know that his behavior comes from a giving, positive place. He does things simply because he wants to, without there being hidden agendas. At first, they might sound totally understandable: But pay closer attention. A Taker will always be talking about his wants. In fact, he might not even ask you what your relationship wants are. Dating someone who concentrates on his needs and wants while ignoring his partners can become even more troubling over time when your emotional needs are on the table.
Dealing with him is exhausting! He's Affectionate Since the Giver is open about his feelings, generous with his good deeds, and likes to make you feel special, he tends to be an affectionate person in the dating scene.