5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships
As Jodi Picoult wrote, “You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.”. Although there are some relationship insecurities that are totally normal, a bit more, or even just seeing your partner less during the week. Feeling insecure in your relationship can be really painful and upsetting. these together, you can start to feel less confident in your ability to work as a team.
Most relationship problems and associated social anxieties start with bad communication, which in turn leads to attempted mind reading. This process of wondering and trying to guess what someone is thinking is a rapid route to feelings of insecurity and stress.Dealing With Relationship Insecurity - 10 Tips To Handle Insecurity
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable. When you stop trying to read their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy.
Everyone deserves the right to think private thoughts. Read Getting the Love You Want. Stop looking for perfect relationships.
You will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and the right friends if you expect them to be perfect. You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways. Stop judging current relationships based on past ones. Think about those times when you passed an unfair judgment on someone merely because they reminded you of someone from your past who treated you poorly.
- 5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships
- I feel insecure in my relationship
Sadly, some people pass judgments like these throughout the entire duration of their long-term relationships. Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive.
If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.
So if you suspect that you have been making unfair comparisons between your present relationships and a negative one from the past, take a moment and consciously reflect on the hurtful qualities of this old, negative relationship, and then think of all the ways your present relationships differ. This small exercise will help you let go of the old bricks and remind you that past pains are not indicative of present possibilities.
Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage. It can also begin to have really negative effects in other areas of your life. Your self-esteem and confidence can become undermined and this can make it difficult to feel able to address any problems. Where does insecurity come from?
A sense of insecurity in your relationship can stem from a number of different places. Insecurity can also stem from changes in your relationship. It can also come from issues surrounding self-image or self-esteem. We can sometimes carry feelings from past relationships into our current one — including ones with family members.
Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
Past romantic relationships where your trust was broken can make it difficult to trust someone else. What can you do to address insecurity? The first port of call is talking things over together. However, if you do feel able, you may find the following tips useful: If your partner tells you that something you do is making them uncomfortable, it is important to listen — even if you think the request is a silly one.
Respecting these preferences without teasing or judgement will create a safer space for your partner to open up. Own what is yours. You can only take responsibility for your own actions. Leave the past where it belongs.
Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
Did your ex write you beautiful poetry and play the guitar? Did they cheat on you compulsively? Give your partner a clean slate, and treat them as the individual they are. This may require some conscious effort, or even therapeutic work to deal with past trauma.